Tuesday, 25 December 2012

Holiday Joke

I was never one to tell jokes. All those 3 men, a midget and a nun walk into the bar themes were seldom to my knowledge. I was more of the fresh prince of bel-air type. The act ‘wonky’ and over-exaggerate movement with the intentions of hilarity. It’s not so rare of me to do in a general setting which makes it far more difficult to see me as the matured and intellectually seeking individual that I am. I was born in Canada and my family heritage derives from Jamaica which would make me a Canadian-Jamaican. I also like to throw in that I have a bit of Chinese.. it makes me sound a little more diversified. Anyway, to the joke then!
There wasa rich Jamaican man whom we shall simply identify as the rich man. He gained allot of money, cars, women and a big house during his time of fortunate investments. During the holidays he decided to throw a pool party where of course he had it filled with sharks and alligators. During the party he became rather drunk in his Rastafarian Santa costume and stood on the diving board. “Yow” he said calling to the party, “yow, hea mi nuh? I will give all a mi money to any bad bwoi in dis here place who cyaan swim from one en’ to di nex’ en’!”. A chinese martial artist performed a bit of his kung fu before saying, “I shall go and achieve this great honor!” Splash! He dived in and immediately came out, “You’ve got sharks and alligators in there!”, “Yow mon. If any bad bwoi in dis y’ear place cyaan swim from dis en’ to di nex’ en I’ll give im alla mi money!” Nobody budged. So he continued, “If any bad bwoi cyaan in dis place swims from one en to di nex’ en’ I’ll give em alla mi money, and mi car dem!” Nobody budged. “Yow, hea mi nuh! If any bad bwoi in dis ya place jump ina dis pool and swim from dis ya en’ to di nex’ en I’ll give em alla mi money, cars, women – Everyting!” Splash! Everyone turned to see who jumped in the pool and a local rasta was doing summersaults, cartwheels and backflips from one end of the pool to the other. He finally came out panting while hunched over and to everyones amazement he was unharmed. The rich man came over in his Rastafarian Santa suit and began, “Yow! Bad bwoi! Mi nevah seen such a ting ina mi life! So wha’ you want first, mi money?” The man still hunched over shook his head no. “Mi cars?” the man raised himself up and still shook his head no.
“So what you want den!?” The man took another deep breath as he finally stood upright and said, “I want the rasshole that pushed me ina di pool!”
- Nathaniel

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